Wildflower Writes

Photo by  Diana Polekhina  on  Unsplash   As a former athlete and musical theater participant, you would think I’d be graceful and coordinated. This is not the case. I’m kinda clumsy. In fact, as a teenager, my church youth group nicknamed me “Niagara” as in, “Niagara Falls.” I’m not better. I still have a scar on my thumb where I tried to open a cinnamon roll can with a knife. I have several burn scars from my stints in food service (and one from a fireplace). I’ve tripped four times on my morning jog- once while running from zombies (long story). The last time I tripped, I stepped off a sidewalk onto an uneven brick-paved road. I tried to jump up and continue my run, but I had scraped up my arm and leg and hurt my ego as well as my body. I walked home and cleaned myself up. It was ugly to look at. It hurt to walk. But every day the wounds shrunk and the pain was less, until only a scar was left. The pain after my fall let me know I needed to clean up and ...

Photo by  Michael Henry  on  Unsplash The microwave beeped. The lights went out. All was silent. Another power outage. I resigned myself to getting ready for work in the dark. A single flashlight provided just enough light to make sure my clothes matched and my hair was tamed. At some point I wandered to the window in another room to observe the darkened neighborhood, eerie in the predawn gloom. I realized I could see the furniture in the room, which should have been impossible with no electricity and no lights. The tiny flashlight from two rooms away was emitting enough light for me to see where I was going. Sometimes we think our light isn’t very bright, that the good we do is unnoticed or inconsequential. In a dark world, every light is important; every light is seen. Keep shining.

Photo by  Benjamin Suter  on  Unsplash   I’ve heard it said, “Never meet your heroes. You’re sure to be disappointed.” I’m sure that’s a fair warning if your heroes are celebrities- actors, sports stars, or musicians. Given the percentage of people who are jerks in the world, a celebrity has as good a chance as any to be kind… or not. My favorite heroes are unsung. Single parents who are making it work. Underappreciated service workers. Pastors and chaplains. People who get up every day with a smile on their face and brighten their world. I’ve met some of these heroes. I’ve never been disappointed. The more I’ve learned about them, the more I’ve been humbled, amazed, blessed, and inspired. If you’re worried about meeting your heroes, maybe it’s time to find someone else to look up to. As we know, not all heroes wear capes.

Photo by  Heather Ford  on  Unsplash I didn’t want to cook tonight. I knew it would require defrosting. I finally decided garlic butter chicken sounded good. Half an hour later, I had chicken baking in the oven. As I relaxed in the living room with my mobile game, the scent of garlic wafted in. One tablespoon of the chopped root had soon overtaken the whole place. I think acts of kindness are like garlic. It doesn’t take much to flavor someone’s day, to bring a smile to someone’s face. Even if you’re not the direct recipient of the kindness, the spirit of it can permeate the air. Kindness starts as an attitude, a belief that all people deserve the benefit of the doubt. It also implies that we have the power to make a positive impact on other people. The only thing left is to open our eyes to look for opportunities to be kind to others. In my opinion, almost everything is better with a little garlic.

Photo by  Joel M Mathey  on  Unsplash I love the story of the tortoise and the hare. I love knowing that slow and steady progress moves you closer to your goals, even if it takes some time. Time is so relative. A boring afternoon can stretch on for weeks, and ten years ago can seem like yesterday. Ironically, “time flies when you’re having fun” and time drags when you’re struggling. It’s important to remember that “this too shall pass.” It doesn’t matter what it is, it won’t last forever. Terrible twos? They only last a year. Winter weather? Spring is coming. Rookie status? Experience will change that. On the other hand, like the tortoise, it does take an effort to make progress. We can’t repeat the same habits and behaviors and expect different results. Positive change requires intentional effort. One step at a time.

Photo by  Cade Prior  on  Unsplash Two different podcasters today told me I should be more vulnerable. One was a pastor, encouraging people to confess their faults, fears, failures, and feelings in the context of authentic relationships. To be a person of integrity, you have to be real with people. Without taking risks in relationships, you can’t grow as a person. Another was a therapist, counseling a businesswoman how to mitigate a conflict. Part of his advice was to acknowledge what she agreed with, and to take responsibility for her part in the conflict. This requires humility and honesty. Vulnerability is hard. The word itself means susceptible to harm. If you open yourself up to others, you’re more likely to get hurt. You’re also more likely to know that people like you for who you really are. As any adventure enthusiast would tell you, the greater the risk, the greater the reward.

Photo by  Elias Castillo  on  Unsplash   Who’s your favorite superhero? Superman, the squeaky clean, bullet-proof alien? Batman, the dark knight with all the cool gadgets? Spiderman, the quick-witted, acrobatic teen? What is it about the idea of a person with superpowers that draws us in? Is it the ability to help others? To exceed human limitations? To ensure instant justice?   What if there was a superhero who could defeat any evil plot that a villain conceived? According to a sermon I heard today, that’s kind of how God works. Whatever Satan can throw at us, through circumstances or the actions of others, God can redeem it for good. Without denying how painful tough times can be, working through them can make us stronger, wiser, and closer to others. In time, it can give us the opportunity to support and comfort others in similar situations- to become a hero for someone else.  No person or situation is beyond God’s reach. And just like a good sup...

Photo by  Lesly Juarez  on  Unsplash I love working with ideas. I enjoy working with people. Words are my favorite tools. I don’t enjoy working with my hands much. As I tried to create something for a Christmas ornament exchange last month, I kept muttering, “I hate crafts.” So it is something of an accomplishment this afternoon when I put together a bookshelf all by myself. I followed all the directions, used real tools, and it looked like the picture when I was finished. Jay Shetty suggests trying one new project or hobby a month to discover one’s purpose. He calls it sampling. It’s similar to the way your mother may have insisted you try new foods. You don’t know what you might like unless you explore something new. Very few of us can say we took on the career we wished for as a child. We grow and change. We can’t know what it is we enjoy doing, what brings meaning and fulfillment unless we try out different things. Many of us still don’t know what we want to be ...

Photo by Christopher Paul High on Unsplash I’m a sucker for a personality test or a strengths inventory, even a “Which Disney princess are you?” quiz. Incidentally, just because I like to whistle while I work does not make me Snow White! I’ve yet to see a weakness inventory. I would guess few people would want to take a test to tell them all the ways they fall short. Sometimes, even our strengths can be weaknesses when taken to extremes. Realistically, no one can be perfect. Why is it important to know our weaknesses? I’ve always thought it was to eliminate them or mitigate them somehow. And I do believe that God’s strength is made perfect in weakness- that God uses the weak to shame the strong.   Today I heard an additional theory I had never considered. On Rick Warren’s podcast this week, he suggests that we are made “imperfect” on purpose, designed to be in community. Without our weaknesses, we wouldn’t have a need to connect with others. Like puzzle pieces, our strengths...

  Photo by  Clay Banks  on  Unsplash I am amazed when I follow the stories of talented individuals who achieved success with a lot of personal sacrifice and hard work.   As inspiring as they are, it’s everyday people who beat incredible odds that really challenge me. I watched Night School , a documentary that showcased students attending an Indianapolis Excel Center. Excel Centers are adult high schools- where you take in-person classes to earn your high school diploma, rather than take a High School Equivalency test. Working for Goodwill, I’ve heard heartfelt success stories, but I wasn’t prepared for Greg’s story. Driven to become a better dad and provider, Greg begins taking classes to get his diploma. His search for a better job is further complicated by his criminal record. His brother ends up in the hospital with a gunshot wound. His 3-year-old daughter is epileptic. Each obstacle is gut-wrenching, but he doesn’t lose his resolve, even when he finds o...

Photo by  Rohit Tandon  on  Unsplash I have a painting on my wall. My son created it to accompany his Bob Ross costume last Halloween. And yes, it has happy trees. And mountains framing a waterfall. When I look at it, there’s something I’ve heard described as homesickness for places one has never been. The German word for it is “fernweh.” I’ve lived in three midwestern states. There’s always been woods to explore, but no mountains. Every time I’ve been on a trip through mountains, there’s a sense of wonder and mystery and curiosity. When I traveled to Colorado on a school trip, I climbed every rock I could. Every time I got to a peak, there was a higher peak to climb. It should have been discouraging, to never reach the top. At the time, it was amazing. I thought I had seen the whole picture, but it was just the beginning, just a limited view of the larger landscape. I used to think the goal was to “have it all together.” I believed once I had reached certain mile...

Photo by  Diego PH  on  Unsplash I used to live in a place where light bulbs had a ridiculously short life. I don’t know enough about electricity to know if it was the way the house was wired, or the dollar store bulbs, or if there was another reason some light bulbs had to be changed after just weeks of use. It’s difficult to tell if a bulb is “good” until you actually screw it into a fixture that is turned on and is connected to electricity. By itself, a light bulb can’t brighten a room. It has to be connected to the power of electricity for it to work. I think too many times we try to shine out of our own power. We rely on willpower to keep going on, long after we’ve lost the joy, purpose, and vision that sparked interest in the first place. The truth is, we’re not meant to live life alone. We’re meant to be connected to one another, as part of a larger fixture. We’re also meant to be connected to a Higher Power. Like the variety of light bulbs available for diff...

Photo by  Christopher Williams  on  Unsplas h In The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers , Sam is trying to convince Smeagol the value of potatoes: “Boil ‘em, mash ‘em, stick ‘em in a stew. Lovely big golden chips with a nice piece of fried fish.” Potatoes really are versatile. Sam didn’t even mention potato skins, tater tots, gnocchi, hash browns, home fries… my grandmother even made leftover mashed potatoes into cinnamon rolls. If we can do all these amazing things with potatoes, just think what God can do with you! Sometimes it seems, in the grand scheme of things, among 7 billion current earth dwellers, across thousands of years, our contribution is so small. But only God has to worry about the “grand scheme.” Just like a thousand individual paint strokes come together to create a masterpiece, you have a part to play. You may represent a scattering of snow on a mountaintop or the shadow of a tree, but the painting is not complete without you. We may not get to see...

Photo by  Vicky Ng  on  Unsplash I love bread. Since spending more time at home due to COVID restrictions, my mom has been turning out all kinds of wonderful creations- rye bread and potato bread and some kind of Cajun bread with coconut milk. I never visit her house without a slice of homemade bread. This is partially because she needs someone to eat the bread before it goes stale. There’s a limited shelf life on home-baked goods. Bread is best when perfectly and freshly baked. Living in the moment is like indulging in that warm slice of fresh-baked bread. It’s crackly on the outside and soft and chewy in the middle. Unfortunately, we spend way too much time focusing on the past- stale, moldy bread, or bread that’s been eaten and digested. It offers no nutrition in the present. Or we focus on the future, bread that’s still a batch of dough rising in a bowl. We don’t know what it will turn it out to be, and it’s not fit to eat right now.     The gift we ...

Photo by  Suhyeon Choi  on  Unsplash I was recently “gifted” with some of my old papers- elementary school report cards, nursery school art, and a Sunday School certificate signed by Mrs. Betty Engle. As a child, I saw Betty as not only kind, but elegant and charming. She had a grace beyond a typical Midwesterner. I was a little jealous of my friend who was able to call her “grandmother.” Ms. Betty passed away this week, and I wonder if her grandchildren and great-grandchildren felt what I have felt after a loved one passed away. My world was upended. I would never see or speak to this person again (although I did ask God to give my grandma a message). Yet, almost unceremoniously, the rest of the world marched on. People in the grocery store acted like nothing had changed. People laughed and planned fun things. It seemed wrong for them to act normal when I was in such pain. Of course, strangers had no way to know how I was feeling, and no reason to act differently. ...

Photo by  Alex Lian  on  Unsplash I’m a sucker for a good match-3 game. It started long ago with Candy Crush and even though the games change, the concept is the same. Match like colors according to the requirements and advance to the next level. I’ve discovered that as I advance through the more difficult levels, I can get distracted by the amazing combinations I can make of four and five colors, hoping that by clearing large sections of the board, I’ll meet my goal. It doesn’t work that way. I have to be intentional and strategic in how I use my limited number of moves, or I’m stuck at the same level. I think life is like that sometimes. We get caught up in the busywork, the day-to-day distractions, and before we know it, we’re in the same place we were a year ago. I listened to one of my favorite podcasters, Darren Marlar of Weird Darkness, talk about his five-year anniversary. What started as a hobby became one of Podcast Magazine’s top ten! He just kept taking it...

Photo by Isabella and Louisa Fischer on Unsplash I like to breathe. The intake of oxygen, the expelling of carbon dioxide… it keeps the blood moving and all the organs functioning. Then this nasty microscopic virus (of the common cold variety) interferes with the breathing process. Armed with Kleenex, antihistamines, decongestants, cough drops, vitamins, lip balm, anti-bacterial wipes, tea, and soup… I settled in for a long night (or two). Before the cold hit, I took breathing for granted. I didn’t even think about it. It just happened. It was easy, even automatic. So many things in life are like that. You don’t realize how you took your health for granted until you get a diagnosis. You don’t realize how much you enjoy someone’s company until they move away. You don’t realize how it feels to be trusted until you fall out of someone’s good graces. I think that’s why gratitude is so powerful. It provides insurance against those life disappointments. If you live in gratitude, you...

Photo by  Robina Weermeijer  on  Unsplash Our brains are powerful! I heard about a research study where basketball players of equal ability were divided into two groups. One group practiced shooting free throws; the second group visualized themselves making free throw shots. When the two groups were compared, they showed the same amount of improvement over the time of the study. The brain strengthened the same neural pathways whether the players practiced physically or in their minds. What you think determines your existence (I think therefore I am). It can also set the whole course of your day, which by degrees can set the course of your life. It can determine your beliefs. What you believe determines what you do. It seems simple, but it’s not easy. Apostle Paul talks about taking your thoughts captive. They can run rampant if you let them. It’s important to think on purpose. To focus on what is true and good and hopeful, rather than the junk you consume on social ...

Photo by  Pacific Austin  on  Unsplash   Trying to run in the winter is always a challenge, especially since I prefer to workout in the mornings. The combination of pre-dawn darkness, below-freezing temperatures, and slippery sidewalks make the goal of putting in 10-15 miles a week a difficult task. This morning, as I dodged an icy patch while running over a bridge, I thought I glanced something moving over my right shoulder. It turned out that a flag was flying in front of one of the tall streetlights, casting a flickering shadow over my running route. It was nothing to be afraid of, it was literally just a shadow. The Chinese have a word, zhilaohu , that has been translated “paper tiger.” It’s used to refer to something that has the appearance of a threat, but really has no ability to cause harm. Like the flitting shadow that startled me on my run, many fears that keep us from reaching our goals are not real. They have no substance, but they stand in the way of...

Photo by  Erda Estremera  on  Unsplash I heard a story today about a young pastor and his family who were planning a move to their new church two days before their first Sunday. It was an 8-hour drive. Everything was packed. The truck was rented. Then, chaos. The truck broke down before it even got to the house. They got it up and running, but it broke down again on the way. After a hotel stay and much discussion, it was decided the only option was to tow the moving truck and its trailer with the family car all the way to its destination. Unfortunately, they weren’t able to get to the church by Sunday morning. Everything that had been planned by their new congregation had to be rescheduled. All they could do was move forward and plan for the next week. You would think that working around canceled plans would be second nature to us by now, but it’s still disappointing when we plan on something and it falls through. Especially when it’s beyond our control. I’ve noti...

Photo by  Wonderlane  on  Unsplash I like it when everything is in its place and messes are mitigated. This weekend, though, was busy. The time I usually spend catching up on cleaning and chores was spent doing important things with important people. Now it’s Sunday night, and tomorrow morning the workweek begins, and I’m already feeling behind. The fact that messiness is acceptable seems to be a theme today. We sang a song in church- “Maybe it’s okay if I’m not okay, ‘cause the One who holds the world is holding onto me.” I heard a story about how Jacob, the Hebrew patriarch, had a really messy life. Life is never how we plan it. Sometimes that means wonderful surprises. Sometimes it means terrible disappointments. Somehow, understanding that perfection is not meant to be attainable in this world makes dealing with and cleaning up messes more palatable.

Photo by  Isaac Quesada  on  Unsplash Today I attended a feedback session for a friend who is developing her website and online presence. It was really a great gathering of women from a variety of backgrounds, life stages, and media expertise. The exchange was invigorating and inspiring. One of the most fascinating aspects of the gathering was hostess’s obliviousness to the fact that her homemade box lunches, coffee station, and sparkling drinks on ice demonstrated a gift for hospitality that left the rest of us amazed if not a bit envious. To her, it was just another fun idea to share with friends. It was only recently that I heard that one way to determine your unique gifts is to pay attention when something comes easy for you that doesn’t come easy for everyone. We sometimes take our abilities and passions for granted. Not everyone sees things the way you do. Not everyone can fix a car, create a website, balance a spreadsheet, or harmonize at will. God gave each of...

Photo by  Demi-Felicia Vares  on  Unsplash Friday night. Pizza (frozen), popcorn (-flavored jellybeans), and a movie (free streaming). Let’s just say I’m watching my dollars and cents. While browsing movies, Zombieland came across the screen. I didn’t know much about it… based on the movie poster I would have guessed it took place in a zombie-themed amusement park. Oddly prophetic, in Zombieland, a virus takes over the country. Rather than causing a reliance on masks, sanitizer, and pre-measured 6-foot spaces, however, it causes people to become flesh-eating zombies. The main character has survived because he sticks to his rules. One rule he adopts after teaming up with another survivor is, “Enjoy the little things.” Like Twinkies. This “rule” is profound if you think about it. You’re so depressed you don't want to get out of bed? Focus on the little things that bring joy- a favorite song, a hyperactive squirrel, a hot drink… Start with one thing and just enjoy it...

Photo by  Tim Mossholder  on  Unsplash “What is that?” I thought, as I spotted a white square-shaped blob on my driver’s side window. “It looks like bird…” It’s January in northern Indiana. Don’t most birds (except “friendly” Canadian geese) fly south for the winter? If I had wings, I would find somewhere warmer to live! So I looked up, and sure enough, about 30 feet above my usual parking spot, nestled in the winter-bare branches of a hardwood tree, is a giant, scraggly bird’s nest. What are the chances? Sometimes it feels like we have particularly unlucky days or weeks or months or years (2020, anyone?) Like those days when you’re running late, and have to stop for gas, and spill your coffee, and someone cancels on you, and it’s not even 9 am? You start ruminating on all the reasons it’s been a bad day, and when something else happens, you add it to the list. There’s something called confirmation bias, where instead of being objective, you look for information tha...

Photo by  LinkedIn Sales Navigator  on  Uns plash   I’ve always been an introvert. As a kid, I sometimes got “kicked out” of the house during the summer because I was as happy curled up on the couch reading Nancy Drew books as I was meeting up with the neighbor kids. Being an introvert isn’t necessarily shyness or social anxiety. It’s a tendency to draw energy from being alone or engaged in solitary activities, rather than drawing energy from being with others in social situations.   So, I enjoy people, but I don’t need to be with people all the time, and I’m selective about who I spend time with. Tonight, I shared coffee with some of my favorite ladies. We shared deep thoughts, secret fears, childhood memories, and lots of laughs. It was one of those rare moments that we could be real with each other. The time flew by. I am grateful for friendships like these that make me a better person. “As iron sharpens iron,” the Bible says. They encourage and challenge...

Photo by  Jon Tyson  on  Unsplash I’ve never been a decorator. My sisters have always been the ones with an eye for art, with the ability to take objects, hang them on the wall and place them on shelves, tie them together with color schemes and themes, and make a house look like a home. My walls have always been bare and white. I was always going to get around to decorating them someday. My daughter, a self-proclaimed command strip expert, helped me to change that today. My walls now have Scripture, inspirational leaves (it’s complicated), paintings by my son and great aunt, and a plaque from my mom that says “Worry is like a rocking chair- keeps you busy but never gets you anywhere.” I don’t know why having these small inspirational tokens mounted on the wall fill me with such joy. They represent my faith, family, and hopes for the future. Hopefully, the next time I’m tempted to give up on my goals, they will remind me to keep moving forward. Although I’m very gr...