Wildflower Writes

Bruno van der Kraan on Unsplash As the sun sets on another Easter, I reflect on a week honoring Jesus’ last days on earth, including his death and resurrection. One of my favorite parts of the Easter story is when the women go to finish preparing the body, and upon arriving at the empty tomb, meet a couple of angels. They ask the women: “Why do you look for the living among the dead?” I wonder how often we don’t find what we’re looking for because we’re looking in the wrong place. We look for a sense of worth in the opinions of others. We look for meaning in the words of celebrities. We look for fulfillment in how well we perform at school or work. When we seek all the good things of life, such as love, security, and meaning, in the world, we’re looking in the wrong places. The world is like a tomb. It is only an empty shell without Jesus. Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life.” He is the source of all good things, the only way to know and be reconciled to God, th...

Photo by  Elias Castillo  on  Unsplash   Who’s your favorite superhero? Superman, the squeaky clean, bullet-proof alien? Batman, the dark knight with all the cool gadgets? Spiderman, the quick-witted, acrobatic teen? What is it about the idea of a person with superpowers that draws us in? Is it the ability to help others? To exceed human limitations? To ensure instant justice?   What if there was a superhero who could defeat any evil plot that a villain conceived? According to a sermon I heard today, that’s kind of how God works. Whatever Satan can throw at us, through circumstances or the actions of others, God can redeem it for good. Without denying how painful tough times can be, working through them can make us stronger, wiser, and closer to others. In time, it can give us the opportunity to support and comfort others in similar situations- to become a hero for someone else.  No person or situation is beyond God’s reach. And just like a good sup...

Photo by  Robina Weermeijer  on  Unsplash Our brains are powerful! I heard about a research study where basketball players of equal ability were divided into two groups. One group practiced shooting free throws; the second group visualized themselves making free throw shots. When the two groups were compared, they showed the same amount of improvement over the time of the study. The brain strengthened the same neural pathways whether the players practiced physically or in their minds. What you think determines your existence (I think therefore I am). It can also set the whole course of your day, which by degrees can set the course of your life. It can determine your beliefs. What you believe determines what you do. It seems simple, but it’s not easy. Apostle Paul talks about taking your thoughts captive. They can run rampant if you let them. It’s important to think on purpose. To focus on what is true and good and hopeful, rather than the junk you consume on social ...

Photo by  Tim Mossholder  on  Unsplash “What is that?” I thought, as I spotted a white square-shaped blob on my driver’s side window. “It looks like bird…” It’s January in northern Indiana. Don’t most birds (except “friendly” Canadian geese) fly south for the winter? If I had wings, I would find somewhere warmer to live! So I looked up, and sure enough, about 30 feet above my usual parking spot, nestled in the winter-bare branches of a hardwood tree, is a giant, scraggly bird’s nest. What are the chances? Sometimes it feels like we have particularly unlucky days or weeks or months or years (2020, anyone?) Like those days when you’re running late, and have to stop for gas, and spill your coffee, and someone cancels on you, and it’s not even 9 am? You start ruminating on all the reasons it’s been a bad day, and when something else happens, you add it to the list. There’s something called confirmation bias, where instead of being objective, you look for information tha...

I was wrapping up my daily "run" (more walking than...) and the breeze blowing through the shade trees lining the street was delicious. Now, if I had just stood outside and felt the wind blowing on my face, it would be pleasant, but not the highlight of my morning. It took the effort... the exertion... the sweat dripping from my brow... to truly appreciate the breeze caressing my face. I think life is like that sometimes. Food is never more tasty than when you've gone without food. A kind word is never more appreciated than when you feel beaten up. Not everything in our lives is good, but good can be found in everything.

I’ve always had a problem with boundaries . It’s not due to some traumatic event in my childhood. Rather, it’s a defective personality (so to speak). I am a people pleaser. And a perfectionist. So I not only want to make people happy, I want to make everyone happy, all the time. I’ve grown up and I’ve realized that one person can’t possibly please everyone she meets. I’ve also decided it’s okay to say “no” to a lot of good things: projects, organizations, and ideas, when I don’t have the interest, time, or ability to see them through. Now I’m in a situation where I’m really struggling to create or maintain boundaries as needed- mostly with myself! I work from home. I also manage the home. So, while I’m trying to work on a grant proposal or write a blog, that growing pile of laundry is nagging me. My daughter comes home from school and wants to talk. My husband can’t find his keys. My sister needs help with her kids. While I am so glad to have a more flexible schedule so that I ...

My chips were disappearing rather quickly. It was a Texas Hold 'Em lesson, designed to prepare me to be a "pit boss" at our service club's annual poker tournament . And I am a horrible poker player. It's not that I can't get a grasp of the game, but that I have no "poker face." They even dubbed my reaction to a bad hand the "poker pout."  I am so used to wearing my heart on my sleeve, so to speak, that I found it very difficult to keep an emotionless expression, and be practiced with my actions as to betray nothing.  I'm a decent actress; I could have done better.  I just don't like having to be so, to be so, blah.  Even for a game. Poker is probably not for me.  Not only do I have an expressive face, but my mind has difficulty with strategy based probability-type games (I don't do well with chess or Stratego either).  And that's okay. I spent a good part of my life comparing myself to other people and wishing to b...

Have you read the book, “How Full is Your Bucket?” by Tom Rath and Donald Clifton? It was required reading by my company a few years ago, and I was surprised to discover my son learning the same concepts in kindergarten. The premise is this: Everyone has a bucket. When it’s full, you feel good. When it’s empty, you feel bad. You fill others’ buckets by doing things that make them feel good. You take away from their buckets when you do things that cause negative feelings. Your own bucket is filled when you fill others’ or when they add to yours. Although this much my 6-year old could grasp, it gets more complicated. The same things that fills some people’s buckets may not fill others. For example, words of affirmation may fill one person’s bucket more, and gifts may fill someone else’s more. Also, based on this concept, you have to make choices about spending time with people, depending on whether or not they tend to give to or take away from your bucket. You also have the c...

Rain. It’s still raining. It’s been raining almost nonstop for the last 16 hours. It’s funny how rain is a good thing when it’s been dry, or if it takes the place of snow. However, when it’s summer time, and there are ballgames to be played and swings to be swung and parks to visit and beaches to play and outside parties to plan… rain becomes the enemy. If I could stay home all day in front of the fireplace with a good mystery novel, listening to the rain drum on the roof or the window pane, I would be perfectly content with an all day rain. In fact, a colorful thunderstorm would be even better, with all the drama of booming crashes and blinding flashes of light. As it is, I got wet walking my daughter to the school so she can catch the bus to her summer art class. Although my giant umbrella was perfect for that walk, it was a little hard to maneuver in and out of the minivan when going to and from work and lunch. On the way home from child care, my daughter removed her shoes and ran t...

Life is like a poker game. Sometimes the chips are up; sometimes the chips are down. You can’t control what you’re dealt, but you can decide what to do with them. Sometimes you can bluff your way through. The better you read other people the better you can play. You really can’t get anywhere unless you’re willing to risk something. You get your biggest success when you put it all in. Life is like a baseball game. Different people have different strengths and succeed best when their role matches their strengths. Every person plays an important part, although you never know when you’ll be called into action. You do better when you think ahead before you need to act. The more you practice, the better you get, but a coach always helps. Your decisions affect other people. As good as you are, you can’t succeed without the help of others. Life is like a nursing home. Some people are genuinely needy, but try to do what they can for themselves. Some people expect other people to do everything f...

Have you ever wondered what are children good for? They can’t work; they can’t contribute. They tend to be loud, needy, and self-centered. Why did God create us so that we come into the world in the form of an infant, rather than fully mature? Why did He send His Son to earth in the same form? Anyone I’ve ever known who has become a parent has said the experience changes him or her. All of the sudden, you are not living for yourself. As a pregnant woman, everything you eat, drink, or breathe affects your child. After a baby is born, it relies on its parents for everything. The choices the caregivers make will affect whether that child learns to trust them to meet his or her needs. A child teaches you to love in a way that you’ve never loved before. It’s unconditional and fierce. It protects at all costs, yet disciplines without regret. It believes that anything is possible, and teaches how to deal with reality. It is completely patient, and always yearning for more time. Ch...

I read an interview with Miley Cyrus in Glamour magazine the other day. She’s surprisingly grounded for a teen who’s already been in the limelight for several years. She respects and appreciates her parents’ authority, and tries not to get into all the materialism that Hollywood promotes. http://www.glamour.com/magazine/2009/04/miley-cyrus-americas-most-famous-girl-grows-up?currentPage=1 Why have Americans created this illusion of the American Dream that consists of a two kids, a big house, two new cars, and various other toys and activities? What’s wrong with leaving within your means and being content with less? I love it that people like Rick Warren, Tiger Woods, and Miley give back. It is so much more rewarding to use your success to help provide for the needs of others, than to build up your “crib.” Would we even be in the recession this deep if people weren’t trying to reach for more than they could afford, and if banks weren’t willing to do whatever it takes to get the busi...

Nothing is quite like finding out that another person has been saying things about you that not only are untrue, but are mean-spirited and may cost you your job. I rarely cry. I guess I want to believe that most people are basically good, that they wouldn’t go out of their way to hurt another person. I don’t know if it was a lack of sleep, or other little stresses, but the thought of someone who can look me in the face one day and tell me how helpful I was to one of her friends, and the next day, throw me to the wolves… set me over. I couldn’t concentrate on work, and I started to feel nauseous. I went to the bathroom, and the tears started to flow. I prayed for the strength to forgive, to resist giving this person the cold shoulder or telling others what a… kind of person she really is. I did some deep breathing. I was able to tell my husband about it over lunch, which helped. I try not to let things like this affect me so strongly. My boss says I take things too pers...

I’ve always heard it said, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” I always took it as a truism, just like, “one man’s junk is another man’s treasure.” But tonight, I was challenged to think differently. Still in study of “The Truth Project,” God is the originator of creativity. He bestowed various gifts upon humankind to use for His glory. He gave us a desire to use these gifts- to design, to create, to express truths, to create order out of chaos. That is what work is supposed to be, an expression of who God created you to be. So if someone creates something, does that make it beautiful? Is it truly a decision of the beholder whether or not something is beautiful? No. I now believe beauty is a quality in and of itself, like truth, goodness, righteousness, or love. The human body is beautiful, but pornography is ugly. Language is beautiful, but hate is ugly. Music is beautiful, but profanity is ugly. The beauty we are able to see in other people represents God’s ha...