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Showing posts with the label ideal

To Date or Not to Date

It was a friendly debate. Should you go out on a date with someone if there is no initial spark of attraction? On the one hand, if you’re not attracted to someone, why spend the time getting to know him or her if you’re sure it’s not going to become more than a friendship? On the other hand, how do you know if someone has an attractive personality if you don’t take the time to find out? Or, another side of this argument may be, why not date just for fun? As a person who has been out of the dating game for over a decade, my views may be a little old fashioned. And wishy washy. After all, my answer would be, “it depends.” First of all, it depends whether you are male or female. A male’s initial attraction to someone is probably 95 percent physical. It may be the color of her hair, her smile, her eyes, and oh, yes, definitely her body. Although it will be shaped by his culture, what he finds attractive in the opposite sex will be highly individualized. On behalf of the many women ...

Until Death?

I’ve been invited to three weddings this summer. Three couples are making the last arrangements as they prepare to start new lives together as husbands and wives. Will any of them use the traditional wedding vows? “I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.” When they take those vows, will they mean them? Statistics say they have about a 50-50 chance of staying together. Will they make it? It seems lately I’ve been inundated with the subject of divorce. It may be one of those things that seems like it’s everywhere once you start paying attention. It started when I found out an acquaintance was “looking for a lawyer.” The next day, old sitcom reruns on TV played on the divorce theme. In one episode of “Still Standing,” two teens bet on how soon their aunt’s marriage is going to end. On “Reba...