Wildflower Writes

Yes, I said Joy in Snow. I don't mean watching little "snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes." I mean snow. Snow that dumps in piles and on sidewalks and driveways and streets and icy winds that cut through my heaviest coats. Snow. It's not just that I intensely dislike cold weather. Snow is scary when I have to drive somewhere and the road is slick and I can't see well (partly because I refuse to take the time to clear off my car). Snow is tedious when I have to put on shoes just to take the garbage out. Snow is a pain when I spend an hour shoveling it only to look out the window the next morning to see no evidence of aforesaid shoveling. There are chores, situations, relationships, etc., that seem tedious and overwhelming. No matter how much snow I shovel, or laundry I launder, or dishes I clean, or worksheets I copy, or blogs I write... there's always more to be done. I get frustrated because I have so many new and creative things I want to tr...

My son inherited his mother's perfectionistic tendencies.  When he is unable to accomplish something, he gets frustrated easily and concludes he is horrible at the task and will never be able to do it.  He gets angry and cries. Today we tackled the bike again.  Before the snow fell last fall, he was able to go short distances as long as I got him started.  That's how it began this afternoon. By the time we got to the next-door neighbor's driveway, he had already fallen once.  By the time we got around the corner, I threatened to take him home if he was going to cry every time the bike went off the sidewalk and into the grass.  Little by little, with encouragement, and letting him pick himself up and start over a hundred times, he started to get the hang of it.  After cruising around the basketball court at the elementary school for awhile, he was completely confident in his ability to start, stop, and steer in the direction he wanted to go. ...

As a perfectionist, I get frustrated that my life doesn't look like I think it should.  Ideally, I would be able to do something I love and use the money to give to causes I really care about.  I would have an organized house and business, and be there at my family's beck and call.  I'd have a hot bod, be well-versed in current events and classic literature, and have time to learn a half dozen languages, a couple musical instruments, and paint landscapes on the side. Ouch!  It's a hard fall back from dreamland to the real world.  Even though I may never see this vision (chances are I'll be painting at 90, but the hot bod will be long gone), I can still move in the direction of those ideals. When it comes to goals (you do have goals, right?), you can either move toward them, move away from them, or not move at all.  As long as you are moving in the right direction, celebrate the milestones along the way, no matter how small! A newborn in...

It's great to have goals and to be able to work steadily toward them.  In my experience, however, only the most die-hard determined people can make a plan and stick to it without fail.  Often, these people are so driven their health and relationships suffer.  Moving forward is important.  Yet, as we know, life happens.  People get sick; people lose their jobs; people make poor decisions.  When life happens, it's tempting to get frustrated and give up.  "Apparently, it wasn't meant to be." So, maybe it isn't going to be as easy as you thought.  Maybe it's going to take longer.  Maybe after some long, hard thought, it's not really what you wanted after all.  That's okay.  Just don't give up.  Adjust, be flexible, arrange your time and money around your values.  Think about how your family and health figure into your goals. Along with being flexible, you have to be resilient .  You can't let little t...

I read an email reply from my son’s kindergarten teacher. She had asked me to pray that it didn’t rain the next day during their field trip to the zoo. I typed back, “I hope everything goes according to plan.” I felt a little guilty for responding that way. Did I really hope that everything went according to plan? Does anything ever go 100 percent according to plan? Of course I hope it doesn’t rain. I hope all the children stay healthy and safe and with the group. I hope none of the animals are traumatized by the onslaught of kindergartners. I also hope for little “unplanned” surprises along the way. I hope for animals that come right up the edge of their pens to discover what children are like. I hope for monkeys that are funny and lions that are scary. I hope for peacocks that show their full plumage. I hope for all the cute, unexpected things children say and do that will make their teachers smile. I hope young friendships are created and strengthened. I hope for memor...