Wildflower Writes

Photo by  Cade Prior  on  Unsplash Two different podcasters today told me I should be more vulnerable. One was a pastor, encouraging people to confess their faults, fears, failures, and feelings in the context of authentic relationships. To be a person of integrity, you have to be real with people. Without taking risks in relationships, you can’t grow as a person. Another was a therapist, counseling a businesswoman how to mitigate a conflict. Part of his advice was to acknowledge what she agreed with, and to take responsibility for her part in the conflict. This requires humility and honesty. Vulnerability is hard. The word itself means susceptible to harm. If you open yourself up to others, you’re more likely to get hurt. You’re also more likely to know that people like you for who you really are. As any adventure enthusiast would tell you, the greater the risk, the greater the reward.

Photo by  Rohit Tandon  on  Unsplash I have a painting on my wall. My son created it to accompany his Bob Ross costume last Halloween. And yes, it has happy trees. And mountains framing a waterfall. When I look at it, there’s something I’ve heard described as homesickness for places one has never been. The German word for it is “fernweh.” I’ve lived in three midwestern states. There’s always been woods to explore, but no mountains. Every time I’ve been on a trip through mountains, there’s a sense of wonder and mystery and curiosity. When I traveled to Colorado on a school trip, I climbed every rock I could. Every time I got to a peak, there was a higher peak to climb. It should have been discouraging, to never reach the top. At the time, it was amazing. I thought I had seen the whole picture, but it was just the beginning, just a limited view of the larger landscape. I used to think the goal was to “have it all together.” I believed once I had reached certain mile...

What does the ideal mom look like? Is it June Cleaver, wearing pearls while she vacuums and having dinner ready when dad walks in the door? Is it Lucy Ricardo, devoted mother still looking for her next big break on stage or screen, or at least a good adventure? Is it Roseanne Connor, keeping her kids in line with sharp remarks and always speaking her mind? Is it Abby O’Neil, the vegan, homeschooling, all-natural mom from Dharma & Greg who walks around in overalls and burns incense? Is it Reba Hart, a single working mom dealing with her teenage daughter’s pregnancy and her ex-husband’s new wife? Every mom has to decide for herself what motherhood is going to look like. For most people, no one is going to be harder on mom than she is on herself. As times change, society’s expectations of the role of mother change and evolve with them. I don’t know if there is any other time in history that has so many potential expectations of motherhood. Moms are supposed to be totally devoted t...