Wildflower Writes

I’ve always had a problem with boundaries . It’s not due to some traumatic event in my childhood. Rather, it’s a defective personality (so to speak). I am a people pleaser. And a perfectionist. So I not only want to make people happy, I want to make everyone happy, all the time. I’ve grown up and I’ve realized that one person can’t possibly please everyone she meets. I’ve also decided it’s okay to say “no” to a lot of good things: projects, organizations, and ideas, when I don’t have the interest, time, or ability to see them through. Now I’m in a situation where I’m really struggling to create or maintain boundaries as needed- mostly with myself! I work from home. I also manage the home. So, while I’m trying to work on a grant proposal or write a blog, that growing pile of laundry is nagging me. My daughter comes home from school and wants to talk. My husband can’t find his keys. My sister needs help with her kids. While I am so glad to have a more flexible schedule so that I ...

You’re in the back seat, arguing with your sibling over who’s turn it is to play with the cheap kid’s meal toy. Suddenly, your body jerks forward as your loving parent slams on the brakes. Does this sound familiar to anyone? It’s one of those parent discipline techniques I’ve kept for my repertoire. Only, today, it didn’t work so well. I was running late to double little league games and my children were arguing: “Let me see it!” “It’s mine!” “Let me see it!” “It’s mine!” This continued for at least a minute before I found a grassy shoulder, checked for any traffic behind me and then did the brake slam. The car didn’t stop. It slowed and eventually stopped in the grass. It felt like it does when you hit a patch of snow or ice and you eventually slow when the tire meets pavement. Except it’s June. The kids didn’t even stop their arguing. I wondered if it was a one-time thing. Finally I asked who the toy belonged to and pronounced judgment that she could do what she wanted wit...