Wildflower Writes

  Photo by  Jay Wennington  on  Unsplash My sister believes that when it comes to chips and salsa, there is a gold standard. Other restaurants may have a more authentic Mexican menu or faster service, but when she has her heart set on perfectly crispy, salty tortilla chips, there is only one right choice. If you’ve ever had a fine dining experience, where there is more silverware than you know what to do with and you feel guilty for wiping your mouth on napkins someone has to launder… you’ve encountered food prepared in a way that not only satisfies hunger but engages the senses. Plates are presented as works of art, creations composed of the finest ingredients. Once you’ve had a dining experience like that, it’s harder to be satisfied with fast food cheeseburgers. Our senses and sensibilities have been elevated- we want something beyond the everyday and mundane. We have deep longings for lofty things- real relationship, passionate purpose, deep understanding, person...

When I returned from an appointment yesterday, I was amazed to see that the sun had melted most of the snow and ice off my windows, even though the windchill was in the teens. The sun is an amazing thing- providing light, heat, day, seasons... and I have a special relationship with that glowing orb in the sky. About 8 years ago I was diagnosed with seasonal depression, or winter blues. It's a real thing. When that sun disappears for days or weeks behind heavy clouds, and the sky is a dull gray all the time, I get down. I have a physiological need for light to maintain my sanity. When the sun finally reappears after a long hiatus, I notice right away. I greet my old friend, and I'm filled with joy. Everything (literally and figuratively) seems brighter, more real somehow. A sense of hope is restored; winter is not forever. Light can represent goodness, truth, righteousness, hope. 1 John 1:5&7 says that "God is light...If we walk in the light, as He is in the l...

I have what you might call a "melancholy" personality. I don't see myself as a pessimist however, more like a realist. So, I was contemplating "realistically" the headaches of the holidays- I don't care much about decorating, or baking, or cards, or shopping. I get disgusted with the commercialism and secularization of the holiday. But as I was doing my devotions one morning, I came across the familiar passage (Luke 2:10) where the angel says, "I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all people..." Jesus came to Earth, to bring great joy. Not a little bit of joy, but a heavenful amount of joy. And not just for the spiritual, or the wealthy, or the beautiful, or the smart. For ALL people. Even me. Even when I don't feel particularly special, or motivated, or happy. Jesus came to Earth to bring great JOY, in the promise of freedom from sin, and a relationship with a heavenly Father. So I'm setting out on a journey to find jo...

I used to want to be famous. I wanted to see my name printed on the front of a book as I browsed Barnes & Noble. I wanted the interview on the national television network, and the occasional recognition of my name or face at the local coffee house or grocery store. I knew it was a silly dream: not unattainable, but not necessarily a worthy goal. I have a new goal now. I want to be like Becky. I didn't know I wanted to be like Becky, until I attended her memorial service yesterday. I knew Becky through the church choir. I didn't know her well; I knew she worked in a school, that she was a seasoned vocalist, and had a strong faith in God. She died a few weeks ago, in her early sixties, after a 6-month bout with an aggressive cancer. There was an amazing variety of people at the service. I dare not say funeral, because it really wasn't a time of mourning. It was truly a celebration of one woman's life. Staff and children from the school where she taught music for...

Okay, acknowledgement is not really a value.  It's more of an action, but it has everything to do with the way you view the world and your relationship with other people.  My pastor used an illustration in his sermon today... you wouldn't walk into a dinner at the White House (assuming you were invited) and not acknowledge the President.  He would be the reason you were at the White House, and the person who happens to live there.  Even though the people we come into contact on a daily basis may not have as much clout as the President of the United States, they still matter.  I work in a nursing home.  I am deeply aware that just taking the time to nod or smile or say hello to residents I pass in the hallway is vitally important.  Many of these people already feel discarded by their families, hopeless about their health, and live day to day going from medications to therapy to meals, and not much else.  If you want to make a difference in ...

It was a friendly debate. Should you go out on a date with someone if there is no initial spark of attraction? On the one hand, if you’re not attracted to someone, why spend the time getting to know him or her if you’re sure it’s not going to become more than a friendship? On the other hand, how do you know if someone has an attractive personality if you don’t take the time to find out? Or, another side of this argument may be, why not date just for fun? As a person who has been out of the dating game for over a decade, my views may be a little old fashioned. And wishy washy. After all, my answer would be, “it depends.” First of all, it depends whether you are male or female. A male’s initial attraction to someone is probably 95 percent physical. It may be the color of her hair, her smile, her eyes, and oh, yes, definitely her body. Although it will be shaped by his culture, what he finds attractive in the opposite sex will be highly individualized. On behalf of the many women ...

At one point in my life, I believed there was no fundamental difference between males and females, with the obvious physical exceptions. I was a 10-year-old feminist. I believed I could play football, excel in math, run fast, become president, and win a fist fight as well as any boy I knew. I rebelled against the idea that my passions and talents might be limited by people who made up arbitrary rules about which sports, activities or classes I could participate in. I still feel the hairs on the back of my neck bristle when people, especially children, are encouraged to behave in a particular way simply due to their gender. Let them play with whatever they want to, whether it’s trucks or dolls or blocks or crayons. Don’t let “boys be boys” and allow rude behavior or destruction. Don’t make girls “act like a lady” and prevent them from playing in dirt or running around. As I grew older, I began to see that there were some general differences between men and women. While I could play foo...

Pink roses and white tapers adorned the front of the church sanctuary. The decorations highlighted the room itself, with an ornate plaster ceiling, tall stained glass windows, and solid, wooden pews. The people ensconced within the pews fit into the scheme: beautiful, young, dressed in summery dresses and colorful dress shirts. They whispered and laughed in anticipation. Even though I was feeling rather ambivalent about the affair, the lilting notes of the piano and the beautifully simple decorations lent themselves to a genuine romantic atmosphere, despite my sore backside from a 6-hour car ride and the fact I knew absolutely no one in the room except my husband. The groomsmen, dressed in gold vests and ties, waited in a line at the front, the groom’s smile wide and expectant. Three tiny tuxedoed ring-bearers trotted in, followed by two tiny flower girls, serenaded by the loud protests of the third would-be flower girl. Six attendants, sheathed in shimmering pink, hair perfectly coiff...

It was after 4:00, and I was grudgingly rushing back to work to meet with a family member at the nursing home. I was focusing on the construction sight at the end of the road, and almost missed my turn. I had one of those dissociative thoughts as I made my turn, that I had narrowly missed driving into destruction. It could be a metaphor for life- that by focusing on all the negative circumstances in life, you inevitably drive your life right into negativity and destruction. Then it occurred to me that it was not called a destruction site. It was a construction site. Even though it looks like a complete mess, each machine, hole, orange sign, and pile of dirt serves a purpose. In time, what now looks like a confused eyesore will be a safer traffic flow pattern with brand new asphalt and signs. Sometimes the roads of life need fixed, too. Too many of us continue down the same paths we’ve always known, and don’t realize they’re filled with potholes until we lose a hubcap or get a flat tire...

It’s my nephew’s birthday today. He’s seven years old. He likes to read, play video games, and is a powerful hitter on the little league field. Kids grow up fast. It never seems like it when you’re wading through diapers and spattered baby food, but they do. Before you know it, that bald baby with a big head is going to school and teaching his parents things they forgot they knew. I love watching babies interact with their world. They are constantly gathering information through all their senses and putting it into practice. I remember watching a baby next to me in a waiting room. His mother had given him a small bottle of pop to keep him busy. He grasped at it with tiny fingers, mouthed the cap, turned it, shook it, and dropped it several times. Once kids are mobile, their explorations increase ten-fold. There’s a child at my friend’s childcare that is like a wind-up doll. You put her on the floor and zoom! She’s crawling so fast her arms and legs are a blur. Soon she’ll ...

I’ve been invited to three weddings this summer. Three couples are making the last arrangements as they prepare to start new lives together as husbands and wives. Will any of them use the traditional wedding vows? “I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.” When they take those vows, will they mean them? Statistics say they have about a 50-50 chance of staying together. Will they make it? It seems lately I’ve been inundated with the subject of divorce. It may be one of those things that seems like it’s everywhere once you start paying attention. It started when I found out an acquaintance was “looking for a lawyer.” The next day, old sitcom reruns on TV played on the divorce theme. In one episode of “Still Standing,” two teens bet on how soon their aunt’s marriage is going to end. On “Reba...

Have you ever wondered what the difference between peer pressure and accountability is? Lately I’ve been doing things I don’t want to do because someone has strongly encouraged me to. I found out that one of my favorite exercise classes at the Y takes place at the same time as my kids’ gymnastics lessons. It’s an incredibly convenient way to get in a good workout. It doesn’t mean I really want to change into my workout clothes and actually do exercise. However, just because an acquaintance mentioned she saw me at the class before and was looking forward to seeing me last night, I made myself go. Peer pressure or accountability? In order for something to be accountability, three requirements must be met. First, there has to be permission granted. If I communicate to you that I’m okay with you reminding me of my exercise plans, you are holding me accountable. If you grab my donut from me just because I said I want to lose some weight, you’d better run. Secondly, there has to be a...