Wildflower Writes

I just returned from a fantastic weekend getaway. Luxury hotel, deluxe shopping mall within walking distance, and beautiful weather. Lots of rest and relaxation with a break from "momdom." Monday morning it was back to the real world- to an annoying alarm at 6:00 AM, to children who would rather stay in bed than get ready for school, and a fresh load of laundry. Back to "life," right? Actually, having some time to do some fun things with my husband really did bring me back to life. I wore nice clothes and makeup and went out with other adults. I had time to think about my values and priorities, count my blessings, and plan for the upcoming Christmas/ birthday/ travel season. I've been "spelunking" for the past few months- a euphemism for dealing with depression. Sometimes I explore the caves; sometimes I seek out the light. Now I think I'm ready to explore some trails and mountains instead- and ready to start some new adventures. Look out wor...

I haven't blogged for awhile.  At some point I decided that writing daily was never going to get me to the writing career I longed for.  However, since I am recently unemployed (technically self-employed with a tiny paycheck), I thought maybe sharing my experiences in that category might be helpful to others. I've always felt the most for those who have been laid off because there wasn't enough work, or there were budget cuts, or the position was eliminated.  No one feels sorry for the person who was fired. That's me.  Fired, canned, terminated, given the pink slip.  I had been joking for years that I looked forward to that day.  It wasn't that great, after all.  Although I don't believe I deserved it, no one wants to hear that.  It doesn't matter that Indiana is an at-will employment state, and that my employer did just that- fired me without a good reason.  I didn't complete a project because I was working overtime with what...

Everyone knows that sleep deprivation can cause problems. When I’m in need of sleep, I feel drained and lethargic. I don’t concentrate well and I tend to be irritable. In order to persuade myself to get a few extra z’s, I’ve been researching the health benefits of sleep. Heart Health Apparently the cycle of sleep does something to keep cholesterol levels and blood pressure down. What would happen to the pharmacy industry if we treated high blood pressure with more sleep? Cancer Prevention Melatonin needs dark and quiet to be produced in the body. Without it, we don’t get sleepy, and we are at a higher risk for cancer. Sleep also allows the body to repair damaged cells and reduce inflammation in the body. Stress Reduction When we’re well rested, our bodies are less likely to produce stress hormones that can cause inflammation in the body and also make it difficult to sleep. Sleep also refreshes the mind to deal with problems in new ways. Alertness Sleeping refreshes the mind and the bo...

I wrote that last poem almost 10 years ago. I had just had a miscarriage, had failed to keep a church ministry alive, and could not find employment in my chosen career field. I know what depression is. I know what it’s like to feel like there’s no hope, that life hurts too much to continue forward. I know what it’s like thinking that others are better off without you. I had imagined all the ways to end it, but couldn’t find the strength to go through with it. There was also a spark of something within, probably God’s quiet spirit, that wouldn’t allow me to destroy something that He had created, as miserable and wretched as it seemed. This all comes back to me as I read about the life a young man who gave up the fight. From everything his co-workers express, he was bright, funny, warm, and kind. I wish I’d known him. I wish somehow some small voice could have let him know how much his life was cherished, how much he was loved and appreciated by everyone around him, before he made that f...

NPR dubbed it Economic Survivor’s Guilt. It’s that deep sense of guilt someone experiences when he or she still has a job, when friends or colleagues do not. It’s not the same as surviving a major event, like the Holocaust or 9/11. After all, these people are still alive. They’re with us every day. They still shop at the grocery store, attend church, and eat at restaurants. They are caring for their children, playing with their dogs, planning trips. Yet when I go to work every day, they have nowhere to go. When I expect a deposit into my bank account every two weeks, they’re hoping to hear from the unemployment office. As I juggle the demands of my boss and co-workers and my own agenda, they are scanning the classifieds and online listings for something that fits. When I complain about the hours or the stress or the unreasonable expectations, they are trying to fill their hours with meaningful things, struggling with their own identity. When I am wishing for a way out of the m...