Wildflower Writes

Photo by  Joel M Mathey  on  Unsplash I love the story of the tortoise and the hare. I love knowing that slow and steady progress moves you closer to your goals, even if it takes some time. Time is so relative. A boring afternoon can stretch on for weeks, and ten years ago can seem like yesterday. Ironically, “time flies when you’re having fun” and time drags when you’re struggling. It’s important to remember that “this too shall pass.” It doesn’t matter what it is, it won’t last forever. Terrible twos? They only last a year. Winter weather? Spring is coming. Rookie status? Experience will change that. On the other hand, like the tortoise, it does take an effort to make progress. We can’t repeat the same habits and behaviors and expect different results. Positive change requires intentional effort. One step at a time.

Photo by  Pacific Austin  on  Unsplash   Trying to run in the winter is always a challenge, especially since I prefer to workout in the mornings. The combination of pre-dawn darkness, below-freezing temperatures, and slippery sidewalks make the goal of putting in 10-15 miles a week a difficult task. This morning, as I dodged an icy patch while running over a bridge, I thought I glanced something moving over my right shoulder. It turned out that a flag was flying in front of one of the tall streetlights, casting a flickering shadow over my running route. It was nothing to be afraid of, it was literally just a shadow. The Chinese have a word, zhilaohu , that has been translated “paper tiger.” It’s used to refer to something that has the appearance of a threat, but really has no ability to cause harm. Like the flitting shadow that startled me on my run, many fears that keep us from reaching our goals are not real. They have no substance, but they stand in the way of...

Photo by  Jon Tyson  on  Unsplash I’ve never been a decorator. My sisters have always been the ones with an eye for art, with the ability to take objects, hang them on the wall and place them on shelves, tie them together with color schemes and themes, and make a house look like a home. My walls have always been bare and white. I was always going to get around to decorating them someday. My daughter, a self-proclaimed command strip expert, helped me to change that today. My walls now have Scripture, inspirational leaves (it’s complicated), paintings by my son and great aunt, and a plaque from my mom that says “Worry is like a rocking chair- keeps you busy but never gets you anywhere.” I don’t know why having these small inspirational tokens mounted on the wall fill me with such joy. They represent my faith, family, and hopes for the future. Hopefully, the next time I’m tempted to give up on my goals, they will remind me to keep moving forward. Although I’m very gr...

As a perfectionist, I get frustrated that my life doesn't look like I think it should.  Ideally, I would be able to do something I love and use the money to give to causes I really care about.  I would have an organized house and business, and be there at my family's beck and call.  I'd have a hot bod, be well-versed in current events and classic literature, and have time to learn a half dozen languages, a couple musical instruments, and paint landscapes on the side. Ouch!  It's a hard fall back from dreamland to the real world.  Even though I may never see this vision (chances are I'll be painting at 90, but the hot bod will be long gone), I can still move in the direction of those ideals. When it comes to goals (you do have goals, right?), you can either move toward them, move away from them, or not move at all.  As long as you are moving in the right direction, celebrate the milestones along the way, no matter how small! A newborn in...

I am an impatient driver.  If I see a utility or garbage truck slowing traffic, I immediately start thinking of an alternative route to get to my destination.  It may be out of my way, but hopefully I will save time by not waiting in line to bypass the roadblock.  There will always be obstacles to reaching your goals, and sometimes they will be unforeseen.  Sometimes you'll be able to plan an alternate path to get to where you are going.  Other times, you may have to be patient and wait it out.  Once in awhile, something major will come up, and you won't make it to where you were going.  You'll have to change your destination all together. For example, I'm working toward writing full-time.  However, I can't quit my full-time day job to pursue writing, because I don't have a surplus of cash, and it's pretty important that my children get to eat.  Sometimes, I get really frustrated with work issues, and I dread going in.  I read a Bibl...

Life requires fun. This is coming from a person who has always taken her pursuits seriously. From studies, to athletics, to dating (I had a checklist), I made it a point to do everything within my power to succeed and excell. When I'm in this mode, I easily put off those things which seem frivolous: playing games with my children, exercise, girls' night, mystery novels... and other things which aren't "productive" or helping me meet my goals. As I've come to grudgingly accept, doing fun or leisure things is part of being a healthy, well-rounded person. Having something fun to look forward to lightens the load and helps me press forward. It's like shaking out an old rug, letting all the dirt and dust fly- allowing me to be refreshed for the next challenge ahead. Go ahead. Schedule some fun into your day and your week, and don't feel guilty about it. It will make you a better person.

It's great to have goals and to be able to work steadily toward them.  In my experience, however, only the most die-hard determined people can make a plan and stick to it without fail.  Often, these people are so driven their health and relationships suffer.  Moving forward is important.  Yet, as we know, life happens.  People get sick; people lose their jobs; people make poor decisions.  When life happens, it's tempting to get frustrated and give up.  "Apparently, it wasn't meant to be." So, maybe it isn't going to be as easy as you thought.  Maybe it's going to take longer.  Maybe after some long, hard thought, it's not really what you wanted after all.  That's okay.  Just don't give up.  Adjust, be flexible, arrange your time and money around your values.  Think about how your family and health figure into your goals. Along with being flexible, you have to be resilient .  You can't let little t...

Although your brain is not a muscle, it helps to think of it as a separate entity that requires both food and exercise to make maximum use of its potential. The exercise would include problem solving and activities which require thought and analysis.  Food is information you take in, whether its through TV, radio, books, blogs, magazines, newspapers, or classes. I've heard many people say that they hated school and have no desire to return to a classroom or write a paper again.  Even so, in order to grow and to strive for your goals, you have to be continuously learning .  Even someone in a "secure" position has to keep abreast of new developments in their area of expertise.  Would you want a doctor who isn't aware of the latest treatments?  Would you want a financial advisor who is clueless about market trends?  I am a practical person.  My favorite book is a "how to" or self improvement.  However, as a writer, I've learned that just re...

As I was perusing the articles at www.happynews.com , I came across a fantastic idea for everyone who has “lose weight” as one of their New Year’s resolutions. For the last two years, Weight Watchers has had a “Lose for Good” campaign in which Weight Watchers members donate one pound of food to their local food pantry for every pound that they lose. In a 7- week period, the organization donated approximately two million pounds of food to local food drives. I invite everyone who reads this article to do the same thing this year. For every pound you lose, donate a pound of food to the local food pantry. A pound of food is a can of green beans, a box of cereal, or a jar of peanut butter. It will help keep you on track for your own goals, and help you realize that food is primarily for sustenance, not necessarily for comfort or something to do or something to celebrate. If you’re in, please join the Facebook group, Pound for Pound, Lose for Good. I was going to start my own, but Jo...

Fox is coming out with a show called More to Love . It’s a version of The Bachelor with plus size participants. Although I am glad that this is a reality show with large women that is not trying to make them lose weight to be more attractive, the ads show women who talk about how they just want to feel beautiful, loved, and wanted. So they decide to compete with 19 other women for the love of a stranger on national TV? Ladies, ladies, ladies! First of all, the ladies they profiled were already beautiful. They don’t need a man’s approval to feel that way. Secondly, everyone wants to feel loved, but if you don’t feel lovable, you’ll never accept love from someone else. Our society is messed up. In America, women strive for thin and busty with tanned, clear, wrinkle-free skin. The few women who are able to meet that standard go to great lengths to achieve it, including surgically altering their bodies. Why do we let a few magazine publishers and TV producers determine what we sho...