Wildflower Writes

I’ve always had a problem with boundaries . It’s not due to some traumatic event in my childhood. Rather, it’s a defective personality (so to speak). I am a people pleaser. And a perfectionist. So I not only want to make people happy, I want to make everyone happy, all the time. I’ve grown up and I’ve realized that one person can’t possibly please everyone she meets. I’ve also decided it’s okay to say “no” to a lot of good things: projects, organizations, and ideas, when I don’t have the interest, time, or ability to see them through. Now I’m in a situation where I’m really struggling to create or maintain boundaries as needed- mostly with myself! I work from home. I also manage the home. So, while I’m trying to work on a grant proposal or write a blog, that growing pile of laundry is nagging me. My daughter comes home from school and wants to talk. My husband can’t find his keys. My sister needs help with her kids. While I am so glad to have a more flexible schedule so that I ...

As a perfectionist, I get frustrated that my life doesn't look like I think it should.  Ideally, I would be able to do something I love and use the money to give to causes I really care about.  I would have an organized house and business, and be there at my family's beck and call.  I'd have a hot bod, be well-versed in current events and classic literature, and have time to learn a half dozen languages, a couple musical instruments, and paint landscapes on the side. Ouch!  It's a hard fall back from dreamland to the real world.  Even though I may never see this vision (chances are I'll be painting at 90, but the hot bod will be long gone), I can still move in the direction of those ideals. When it comes to goals (you do have goals, right?), you can either move toward them, move away from them, or not move at all.  As long as you are moving in the right direction, celebrate the milestones along the way, no matter how small! A newborn in...