Wildflower Writes

We've all watched television shows and videos centered on people doing stupid things- bumbling criminals, disastrous home improvement projects, or people on wheels who try to defy physics. America's Funniest Home Videos has been running for 30 years! In real life, I have a low tolerance for "stupid" people. Technically, people aren't stupid, they just say illogical or biased things or make poor decisions. "Stupid is as stupid does," according to Forrest Gump. I was talking to God about this, because I've encountered well-meaning, God-serving individuals who, in my opinion, make poor choices or plans. It's not a matter of sin, just a lack of wisdom. I asked God, "How do you deal with these kinds of people?" The answer I received was, "Same way I deal with you." I laughed, but ouch. I'm no better than anyone else. I have my own flaws, blind spots, and prejudices. Even if God has blessed me with intelligence, my ways,...

Hello, my name is Carrie. I'm a procrastinator. It's more of a bad habit than an addiction. I'm trying to be more responsible about my projects and plan my time wisely, but sometimes, I just don't wanna. Especially if it's time consuming or hard. There are worse things to procrastinate about than a household project. Sometimes we put off getting in touch with family members, or making important decisions. If you're putting off telling people in your life how much they mean to you, or deciding what career path to pursue or a million other life altering actions... Just do it. Don't procrastinate anymore.

As a youth leader, I had come to an inescapable conclusion.  Life is full of choices, and your path is determined by your decisions. This is particularly true with young people, because they are faced with so many decisions in a short amount of time- Do I wear this to school? Do I go to the party?  Do I skip track practice?  Do I ask her out on a date?  Do I apply to colleges now?  As "old" people, we often get in a rut, because it seems like the life changing decisions are over.  We've met and married our spouse, had kids, settled into a career and a house... nothing left to do but to wait it out until retirement.  Or maybe life is so full of meeting other people's needs that you've forgotten that you matter too. Bah!  We still have to decide to be the most we can be (at the risk of sounding like a military recruiter), at any time of our life.  We still have choices to make regarding relationships, new opportunities, and health.  ...

Some people are thinkers, and some are feelers.  The ways people process the world and make decisions  generally fall into one of these two categories. I am an analytical feeler.  I am very tuned into how I feel, but I want my decisions to be logical as well.  I know something is not right in my world when it doesn't "feel" right.  I struggle to find that balance, that sense of peace that I am doing all the things I should be doing and am capable of doing, and am doing it efficiently without sacrificing any of the fun or wonder that makes life worth living.  It comes down to values.  In order to feel peace with the way I live my life, I have to decide what is important to me.  My faith is important to me.  My family is important to me.  Integrity and responsibility are important to me.  Humor and fun are also important.  I value creativity and knowledge as well.  That is why I am pursuing a career that allows me to sha...

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" -Jeremiah 29:11 I've had this verse on a plaque that I received from a good friend about 9 years ago. I keep it in my office on my desk. I usually find a lot of comfort in it. It seems that I've spent most of my adult life trying to figure out these plans God has for me. Whatever I’m doing, after a time I start to ask questions. The problem is pretty much summed up by The Clash: "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" The dilemma dips into that whole philosophical question regarding providence and freewill: "Is life like a line already drawn, or is the line yet to be drawn?" My take is that the line is yet to be drawn, but that God, seeing the big picture, already knows what it looks like, and knows how to get you from point A to point B, if you are willing to trust in Him. On the other hand, I ...

“For wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her.” –Proverbs 8:11 Wisdom is difficult to understand or appreciate. In a society where truth is considered an arbitrary subject, and tolerance is valued more highly than what is right, wisdom becomes something of past generations, gained merely be life experience. Even though I seek wisdom, I don’t ever feel wise. It seems like daily I have decisions to make and I rarely feel confident that I’m choosing the right path. I have this twisted desire to interfere in the lives of others- to give them advice or provide for them- and never know for sure what the right thing to do is. I am also horrible at organizing my time, things, or finances. I know what I value, but it’s difficult to make tough decisions. For example, I play flute in the church orchestra. I originally signed up to get my husband involved. The problem is, I haven’t played in a group since sixth grade. It’s like a 12 year old trying t...

Sometimes I worry about what kind of mom I am. I don’t spend inordinate amounts of time with my children. Sometimes I yell at them. Sometimes I say things I shouldn’t about people or situations that frustrate me. Sometimes I forget to keep up with their papers, projects, and events from school and activities. Sometimes I shut myself up in my room for some alone time. When it comes down to it, I am largely responsible, along with my husband, for the kind of people my children become. By helping support their interests and abilities as they grow, we give them tools to become what they are created to be. By instructing and disciplining, we teach them what is and is not appropriate in the social arena. It’s more than turning my children into responsible citizens, however. Whether I like it or not, their view of the world is colored by their interaction with me. When I show them affection, they feel how great it is to be loved. When I laugh with them, they learn how to find joy. ...

At one point in my life, I believed there was no fundamental difference between males and females, with the obvious physical exceptions. I was a 10-year-old feminist. I believed I could play football, excel in math, run fast, become president, and win a fist fight as well as any boy I knew. I rebelled against the idea that my passions and talents might be limited by people who made up arbitrary rules about which sports, activities or classes I could participate in. I still feel the hairs on the back of my neck bristle when people, especially children, are encouraged to behave in a particular way simply due to their gender. Let them play with whatever they want to, whether it’s trucks or dolls or blocks or crayons. Don’t let “boys be boys” and allow rude behavior or destruction. Don’t make girls “act like a lady” and prevent them from playing in dirt or running around. As I grew older, I began to see that there were some general differences between men and women. While I could play foo...

How does a treeline form? I’m looking at the trees surrounding my kids’ school, and the tops form a fairly smooth line. You would think, with the wide variety of trees, it would be more uneven and choppy at the top. Instead, the line itself rises and falls in a series of shallow undulating waves, with all the trees right next to each other coming up to approximately the same height. I wonder if it has to do with the amount of sunlight available to the leaves. Maybe once the tree grows to the height of the surrounding trees, it no longer has to fight for sunlight. Maybe all the trees were planted at the same time, although my guess is that they were here before the school or the playground. Maybe the slope of the land affects the height of the trees, since it might affect how much water is collected in each place. I’m always thinking. It’s like the little “why” that started when I was a little girl never died. Usually I think about people or relationships or problems. Someti...

A song on the radio has been haunting me. It seems like every day I hear it, sometimes more than once. I’m not sure why, but I wonder if God’s trying to tell me something. “The Motions” by Matthew West: This might hurt, it's not safe But I know that I've gotta make a change I don't care if I break, At least I'll be feeling something 'Cause just okay is not enough Help me fight through the nothingness of life I don't wanna go through the motions I don't wanna go one more day without Your all consuming passion inside of me I don't wanna spend my whole life asking, "What if I had given everything, instead of going through the motions?" No regrets, not this time I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind Let Your love make me whole… The phrase that captures me the most is, “I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking, ‘What if I had given everything…’” Isn’t that haunting? How would life be different if it was lived with complete abandon and unbrid...

He asked to talk to me on the phone. I’m not sure why. He’s a former nursing home resident, known for his sexual innuendos, talking to himself, and refusing treatment for his schizophrenia for fear of impotence. He left against medical advice almost a year ago, and is back at the psychiatric hospital, needing a long term situation. As an employee at a nursing home, we often have to consider the issue of “competence.” At what point does a person lose his or her right to make decisions because they are no longer mentally capable of making them? Who makes the determination? How can nursing home residents lose their rights to choose treatment due to incompetence when they are lots of “incompetent” people living in our community who do not make decisions that serve their own best interests. Ray Sandford of St. Paul, Minnesota, is fighting for his right to forego his monthly electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) treatments. A lot of people don’t know that some mental health professionals still use...

It’s a familiar scene. Rows of mortarboard hats, jumbled together and jostling one another in excitement. Rows of proud family and friends, equipped with cameras, cards and flowers, celebrate exuberantly. Smiles can be seen as far as the eye can see. High school graduation has become a coming of age ceremony in our culture. It represents a step over the boundary that separates childhood, conformity, and dependence from adulthood, identity, and independence. Even though you have merely progressed from grade to grade for the past 12 or 13 years, there is no longer a set path. At the point of graduation, you are expected to make the next step. Standing on the precipice of decision at such a point can be scary. What if you make a wrong decision? What if you go to the wrong school or pick the wrong major or can’t get a job? It may be easier to see graduation as a “graduated” part of life. Just like any other day in life, it is a day to grow, a day to learn, and a day to just be t...

It’s quiet. My entire family fell asleep within minutes of hitting their pillows. I guess five hours of water play, a sophisticated scavenger hunt, animatronic story-time, and a full-length movie will do that to you. Why is it when you just start getting into the groove of vacation- do what you want, when you want, all at a leisurely pace- you have to pack up and look forward to the next break? When I went on vacation as a kid, there were not many choices. Dad decided when we were leaving, and Mom decided what we could pack. On the way, it didn’t matter if you were hot, hungry, thirsty, or your bladder was ready to explode, we would stop when Dad was ready, which usually meant when the gas tank was near empty. Once we arrived, we weren’t able to go anywhere without adult supervision. Our parents determined when and where we would eat and shop. I am not complaining about our vacations. Our beach vacations were some of the best memories of my childhood. My husband and I have just chosen ...