Not about the Money

I used to want to be famous. I wanted to see my name printed on the front of a book as I browsed Barnes & Noble. I wanted the interview on the national television network, and the occasional recognition of my name or face at the local coffee house or grocery store. I knew it was a silly dream: not unattainable, but not necessarily a worthy goal.

I have a new goal now. I want to be like Becky. I didn't know I wanted to be like Becky, until I attended her memorial service yesterday.

I knew Becky through the church choir. I didn't know her well; I knew she worked in a school, that she was a seasoned vocalist, and had a strong faith in God. She died a few weeks ago, in her early sixties, after a 6-month bout with an aggressive cancer.

There was an amazing variety of people at the service. I dare not say funeral, because it really wasn't a time of mourning. It was truly a celebration of one woman's life. Staff and children from the school where she taught music for 16 years, members of our church and the one she attended up to a year ago, members of her traveling singing group... This simple, kind, Christian woman used every bit of God-given talent and faith to encourage and teach others, passing her legacy on through her family, her students, and everyone she came into contact with.

The experience truly made me question, what do I want people to say after I'm gone from this earth? Will I have made a difference? How many people will be able to say that knowing me affected their lives in a positive way, paving the way to stronger relationship with God?

And as Becky's life demonstrates, we never know how much time we have to leave that legacy. I may have 70 minutes or 70 years- who knows? So the decisions I make now, about how I spend my time and who I spend it with, are going to determine what kind of mark I leave on this world. And that kind of mark is more permanent than the ink of a printing press.

Children as Canvas

I've never been much of an artist. I can sketch well enough that the object is recognizable, but my drawings of people and my playdoh figurines probably haven't changed much since 4th grade. I appreciate art- color, contrast, texture... but I would never consider myself an artist.

I prefer a different kind of canvas. Every day I get to read stories to elementary-aged students. Those faces, and the minds behind them, are my canvas. I'm not a teacher, per se, but I know that connecting children to characters, to stories, to books, to reading... provides building blocks for education and intellectual curiosity. I believe advancing literacy is more important than achieving high scores on standardized tests, although there certainly is a correlation.

Working as a librarian, even temporarily, is like spending time with my childhood friends. From Green Eggs and Ham to The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, the whole Nancy Drew series, the amazing illustrations of Eric Carle, Tomie de Paola, and Maurice Sendak... and the company of a thousand other characters, I am home. I credit my academic success, my imagination, my analytical mind, my love of stories, and my desire to communicate through the written word to those early years reading everything I could find.

I know reading books seems outdated to some, under the premise that we are in the electronic age, that all information can be sought online and "books" can be downloaded. But when I see the faces of 5-year-olds who get their very own book, even for just a week, about princesses or kitty cats or birthdays or spiders or whatever excites them... I know books still have value, and that the more children have access to books instead of TV, computers, and video games, the better chance the next generation has to know themselves, to achieve success, to build relationships with others, to learn from the past, to share ideas, and to build a better tomorrow for themselves and generations to come.

Be a hero. Connect a child to a book today.

Legacy and Leadership

I'm not sure what the Sunday school lesson was supposed to be about (forgive me, Debie), although it was something about leaving a legacy.

Our discussion came around to leadership, and whether it is a leader's responsibility if the followers don't follow. 

"Yes!" said my brother-in-law emphatically, the regional manager for a cell-phone company. "If they can't get the job done, they're gone."

Yet, time and time again, the Bible draws a picture of leaders who encouraged, warned, used word pictures and metaphors, put their own lives and lifestyles at risk, to lead people in God's ways. The people they were supposed to lead were often outright defiant, worshiping other gods and pursuing pagan lifestyles. 

A pastoral mentor told me once, "if you want to know if you're a good leader, turn around and see who's following you."

So which is it? Is a leader measured by his or her principles, or by the number of people who are charmed into following, a la the Pied Piper?

I believe a leader has to have certain skills to influence others, but I want to follow a leader that has principles and values I agree with, and who does the right thing, even if it's not popular. This is why I keep my nose out of politics, because there are so few people in the arena who represent this ideal.

And if I am to be a leader, I want to be a leader like Jesus, who doesn't cut people off when they fail or fall away. No one is a lost cause; no person is beyond His reach. If I don't have followers, I want to know that I have done what is right and what I have been called to do. That is the legacy I want to leave behind.

Like a Wad of Wire

For Christmas, my mom received a beautiful copper sculpture of a butterfly from their exchange student. When asked, Linh said she just formed the copper wire into a butterfly.

Artistic talent like that amazes me (and makes me a little jealous). If you gave me a bunch of copper wire, I might be able to make a two-dimensional flower. Maybe. So, if I wanted something beautiful created, and all I had was a ball of copper wire (do they come in balls?), I would hand it over to my foster sister and ask her to create it. I simply do not have the ability.

I'm seeing that my life is a lot like a tangled mess of copper wire. I don't know what to do with it, or how to form something useful or beautiful out of it. So I've decided that I need to hand it over to the Master Creator, and let him create something amazing out of it. If something wonderful results from my life, it will only be because I was willing to submit to Him.  If I keep trying to make it on my own, I'm sure it's going to make a bigger mess!

You May be Famous

While wandering through the grocery aisles of an over-crowded Wal-Mart, I came across a young girl pointing excitedly at a woman passing by.  "Mom, that's the... the lunch ticket lady! She takes our names for lunch!"

I imagine the "lunch ticket lady" is a middle-aged paraprofessional who may not even enjoy working with children all day. She may see her job as an end to a means, rather than a meaningful contribution to the school and community. But to that first-grader, seeing her at Wal-Mart is the equivalent of a movie fan spying Johnny Depp in the produce aisle. The lunch ticket lady plays an important role in that child's life, whether the woman realizes it or not.

I think sometimes we underestimate the influence we have on others, especially children. We just go through the day, doing what has to be done, and don't realize that little eyes are watching. And listening. And taking cues from us on what to say and how to behave in this world. And taking cues from us on who they are and why they matter.

So, even if you're not a parent, grandparent, or teacher, you may be a "lunch ticket lady," or a "man who passes  the money plate at church." You matter in the life of a child. Be sure you play a positive role!

Back to Life

I just returned from a fantastic weekend getaway. Luxury hotel, deluxe shopping mall within walking distance, and beautiful weather. Lots of rest and relaxation with a break from "momdom."

Monday morning it was back to the real world- to an annoying alarm at 6:00 AM, to children who would rather stay in bed than get ready for school, and a fresh load of laundry. Back to "life," right?

Actually, having some time to do some fun things with my husband really did bring me back to life. I wore nice clothes and makeup and went out with other adults. I had time to think about my values and priorities, count my blessings, and plan for the upcoming Christmas/ birthday/ travel season.

I've been "spelunking" for the past few months- a euphemism for dealing with depression. Sometimes I explore the caves; sometimes I seek out the light. Now I think I'm ready to explore some trails and mountains instead- and ready to start some new adventures. Look out world!

Working in your Passion

For many people, work is a necessary evil, a means to an end.  If you're employed, you earn an income, which pays for food, shelter, transportation, and other nice things.  You also have something productive to do during the day (or night).  If the benefit of a paycheck were removed, or if the necessities of life were taken care of, many people would not work.

I don't think that God intended people to loathe work, to dread Mondays and thank Him for Fridays.  Yes, He originally introduced the idea because His first creation, Adam, was disobedient, but that doesn't mean He can't redeem it for good things in the world and in you.

You were created for a purpose.  You were created with a combination of personality, passions, and talents that are uniquely yours.  If the planet Earth were a factory, you have a job doing your part to make the world go 'round.

While it would be wonderful if we could all choose the perfect degree, and get hired into a company with the perfect job, it rarely happens that way. Why? Because God's idea of education and work are not the same as the world's.  He may educate you through a difficult experience in your life, giving you the resources and compassion to help others in need.  He may provide a volunteer avenue for you to expression your passion that is totally unrelated to your 9 to 5.  He needs innovators and entrepreneurs and leaders and philanthropists, not just office drones.

So, you may have to work a job you don't like for a period of time.  You either reconcile the dislike with the benefits, or you use that period of time to improve your education or skills to transfer into a field that you do enjoy.  I don't believe God wants anyone to be miserable... but misery is often an attitude that a person chooses.  If you don't like your situation, focus on the good, and what you can change.  As John Wooden said, "Nothing will work unless you do."