Wildflower Writes

My kids have tried, at various times, soccer, basketball, baseball, softball, tae kwon do, running, and gymnastics.  There are many reasons I think learning about sports is important in life. Sports provide the opportunity to learn new skills, to follow directions, to play by the rules, to work with teammates, and to develop confidence.  As they grow older, the skills continue to develop into life skills.  The child has to learn to balance competitiveness with sportsmanship, the glory for self with the good of the team, the pain of losing with the willingness to try harder.  I think that’s why so many people are drawn to sports teams and contests, whether they’ve ever thrown a ball or not.  Sports are a miniature representation of life itself, a concentrated, glorified version of the struggles ordinary people experience everyday. In soccer and basketball, you work toward a goal.  There are specific rules you have to play by, or you may get stalled along the way.  If you can’t w

I’m not sure what kind of bird struggled through the air over a house on my route home from work.  With winds gusting up to 45 miles an hour, the poor creature seemed to have difficulty getting to where it wanted to go. I felt sympathetic.  Some days I feel like as hard as I try to fly straight, to get closer to my goals, it seems circumstances blow me off course.  It seems like it would make more sense for the bird to hunker down and wait out the storm.  Maybe it could find a cave or a cistern or somewhere to hide out.  That’s my temptation.  I get discouraged and want to hide, to bury myself beneath my bedsheets, to close out the world and lose myself in a world of cinematic drama or literary mystery and a chunk of chocolate.  It’s not necessarily bad to make time for oneself, or to escape once in awhile.  I’m afraid that if I didn’t have a family and a job, I might live in my bed.  I want to be a writer.  It’s the only thing that I feel I excel at.  On the other hand, I’m

I saw a movie today on the Lifetime channel because I was in one of THOSE kind of moods.  It was called “7 Things to Do Before I’m 30.”  I started thinking.  What does my “bucket list” look like?  What kinds of things would I like to experience in my lifetime.  I came up with 50: 1. Be an extra in a film. 2. Swim with a dolphin. 3. Learn how to take a compliment. 4. Get to know my neighbors. 5. Learn not to say yes when I really mean no. 6. Write a fan letter to my all-time favorite hero or heroine. 7. Write the novel I know I have inside me. 8. Shower in a waterfall. 9. Teach someone illiterate to read. 10. See a lunar eclipse. 11. Write my will. 12. Spend a whole day reading a great novel. 13. Learn to juggle with three balls. 14. Overcome my fear of failure. 15. Spend time making my house into exactly what I want. 16. Drive a convertible with the top down and music blaring. 17. Accept myself for who I am. 18. Go up in a hot-air balloon. 19. Cr

Sometimes, I hate being a mom.  I hate the early morning wake up call, the sinking feeling that something’s wrong, the helplessness at not being able to relieve the suffering, the indecision about what treatment to offer and whether or not to seek medical assistance, and the decisions about work, school, child care, and other planned activities. Something about parental love empowers you to do things that you wouldn’t normally be able to do when a child is sick.  Sleep becomes secondary to your child’s needs.  Cleaning up a variety of disgusting things is done in a matter-of-fact way, assuring the child everything is going to be fine.  Schedules and furniture are re-arranged without apology to provide for comfort and care. Sometimes I’m convinced that children are God’s character builders.  Nothing addresses selfishness, impatience, disorganization, laziness, dishonesty, pride, and lack of self-control better than becoming a parent.  For a mom, it starts as soon as you start sharin

The summer after my freshman year in college, I worked for the university housekeeping department, assisting a full-time employee in cleaning dorms and apartments for special guests.  Pat like to talk, and she told me all about her family.  One afternoon she told me about the moment her son woke up after a coma induced by a drug overdose.  “I will never forgive you,” she told him.  She promised she would never forgive him for abusing his body that way, for the pain he caused her and the family when he nearly died.  According to her, he accepted her stance of unforgiveness, believing he deserved it. At the tender age of 19, I didn’t understand how someone who called herself a Christian could refuse to forgive anyone for any reason, especially her own son.  Although I still believe forgiveness is the best remedy for heart, soul, and relationships, I have a better understanding about how complicated relationships can be, especially when it comes to life and death. Pat’s son wasn

“That’s what makes life interesting,” he said. “I’m sick of interesting,” she said. I’m watching the new House episode, and I have to sympathize with a woman who continues to visit her catatonic best friend at the mental institute after a decade with no response. Anyone who would view my life from a distance would see the American dream.  I don’t deny I’ve been blessed beyond measure.  I just long for something to come easy. The second law of thermodynamics suggests that the quality of matter and energy deteriorates gradually over time. So, everything is always falling apart.  It’s completely frustrating to me, as a perfectionist, to know that everything we own, from vehicles, to homes, to clothes, is disintegrating into a lesser state of being.  Our bodies, as any middle-aged woman will tell you, are falling apart.  Even relationships require maintenance to remain at the same level, and greater effort to grow closer together.  Work skills become dull or even obsolete if not

We’ve all had megalomaniacal dreams of becoming a professional sports star, a movie actor, a rock star, or someone else rich and famous.  Is it the draw of international attention, a practically bottomless bank account, or the ability to do almost anything (legal) without consequences? Yet, we’ve seen the negative consequences fame and fortune can have on young people who are ill-prepared for it.  The media has documented every gory detail of celebrities’ drug addictions, failed romances, and legal difficulties.  I recently watched a documentary that gave me new respect for one of Hollywood’s own, because he stands out from the crowd.  I’ve always admired the work of Johnny Depp.  Outside of the fact that he is exquisitely good looking, he brings a depth to his characters that is incredible, considering the wide variety of characters he has played. What I learned about him that was really amazing to me was that he’s always followed his own brand of artistic integrity.  He fell

What is love?  How do you fall into or out of it? Where does love begin?  In the heart, or in the head?  Is it emotional, chemical, or spiritual? Does love come unbidden or unwanted?  Can it exist if it is not felt?  Can blind people fall in love at first “sight”? Is compatibility something that can be determined by a computer or something required for love?  Do opposites attract? Love hurts, but is it supposed to?  Can love die?  Can you live without love?  Can love go on after the object of affection lives no more?  How does one communicate love?  Are words necessary?  Can you buy love?  Is love mystical?  Is it magical?  Is it forever?  Is it fantasy?  Is it a psychological condition? Where do you find love?  Does everyone have a soulmate?  How do you know if it’s true love? Is love necessary?  What would the world be like without love? What do you think?

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both… Robert Frost’s poem, “The Road Less Traveled,” is a beautifully poetic description of the decision-making process in life.  Every moment presents options, and every choice comes with a forfeiture of the options not taken.  Some decisions have minimal consequences (do I iron my shirt or show up for work on time?) and others are more important (do I marry my high school sweetheart?).  Some decisions or predicaments can be avoided with proper planning or foresight (if I get up earlier, I can iron my clothes and get to work on time).  Although I don’t agree with doing something different for the sake of change or uniqueness, it’s more rewarding to do what’s right for you, despite what anyone else says or does.  Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. When it comes down to it, we live with our decisions, and we h

Sometimes I think it would be so nice to be free of pain and struggle.  What would it be like to have just enough time to get ready in the morning, to enjoy time with the family, for everyone to be in a good mood?  What would it like to enjoy the morning workout, to see results immediately?  What would a problem-free commute be like, with no red lights and no crazy drivers? What would it be like to be able to communicate effectively with family and co-workers, with no misunderstandings or misinterpretations?  What would it be like to start a project and finish it without being interrupted?  What would it be like to have healthy, tasty food prepared on-site whenever you were hungry?  What would it be like to not worry about disease or death or divorce?  What would it be like to be unconcerned about finances or home maintenance or mounds of dirty dishes or laundry?  No one lives a life like that.  Everyone has struggles, from the mundane task of trying to find clothing unwrinkled e

There’s a song on the Fireproof soundtrack called While I’m Waiting by John Waller: I’m waiting I’m waiting on You, Lord And I am hopeful I’m waiting on You, Lord Though it is painful But patiently, I will wait I will move ahead, bold and confident Taking every step in obedience In the movie, this song plays while Caleb continues to show love to his wife, even though she has a hard time accepting his efforts due to past hurts.  Although I understand the song in context of the movie, I’ve tried to apply it to my life with less success.  How do you wait and move ahead?  What if there’s a major decision to make?  What if you’re not confident of which direction to go?  What happens if you make the wrong one?  How does that affect God’s will for your life? I’m not one that believes God expects you to walk a balance beam through life, so that one misstep lands you off His books forever.  I believe He works more like a GPS, rerouti

You've seen them. Usually they're minivans or SUVs, with some child's name and interest scrawled in white or neon colors: "GO KYLE #43 EMHS FOOTBALLl #1" for example. They increase in number when the stakes are higher and you have to travel farther, maybe to a regional or state contest. I love that people love their kids, even if it's not something I would do (yet). Even so, there is always too much of a good thing. While walking to my vehicle in a hospital parking lot, I read these words painted in yellow across the rear window of someone's car: "SUMMERTIME'S FINALLY HERE!" I can understand being hyper-excited about your own flesh and blood and their accomplishments. I'm not so sure that the seasons need the accolades and encouragement, even though summer didn't show up for long this year. Actually, summer is merely a date on the calendar. It's not going to get a touchdown or hit a homerun or play a solo in the marching

What can you find only when you’re not looking for it? So many people are searching for significance, for a place, for a purpose, for some sense of meaning in this world.  They seek for something to prove they are worthy; they are special; they are important.  Some look for love, for another person to approve them and meet their needs.  Others look to work, for a sense of success, accomplishment or power.  Others seek escape from the feeling of loneliness in addiction, whether it is food, alcohol, shopping, video games, or some other vice.  Ironically, the harder someone tries to find love and fulfillment by meeting their own needs, the more elusive those things seem to be. Instead, the people who have found “happiness” as defined by an undercurrent of joy and an inner peace, are those who didn’t ask how other people could make their lives better.  Instead of looking to their own well-being, they ask, “how can I meet the needs of other people?” or “who needs me today?” By f

It was one of those clean-the-because-someone’s-coming-over days that my kids detest.  There were toys to be picked up, laundry to be done, the dishwasher to be loaded, trash to be taken out, floors to be vacuumed… it was going to be an all-day venture.  No kid wants to be torn from Saturday morning cartoons to clean house.  Only the promise of a night at the movies (and the promise that they didn’t have to clean their own rooms that day) was enough to convince them to contribute cheerfully. It’s always been hard to figure out methods that work for kids to clean up without World War III.  My son is very task oriented.  Usually, he’ll participate if he has a number of items to pick up or everything of a certain color.  He’s also very good at sorting laundry, dusting, and vacuuming. Saturday, he insisted on making a list of everyone’s tasks and crossing them off when finished.  When I gave him the task of clearing off and cleaning the dining room table, he balked at the clearing bu

The human brain is an amazing thing.  It can keep your heart beating, your lungs expanding, your body moving, and allow you to store vast amounts of information. It’s been said that most people only use about 10 percent of their brain capacity.  Some people must use even less. How else do you explain talking on one cell phone while texting on another while driving a tow truck over the speed limit with an eight-year-old relative in the passenger seat?  It was only a matter of time before there was an accident.  Unfortunately for the driver of the car that was rear-ended and the owner of the pool where the tow truck landed, it was a decision with disastrous consequences.  See http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32584570/ns/technology_and_science-tech_and_gadgets/ for the full story. I would think someone who visited wrecks on a regular basis would have more respect for the task of driving than this young man.  Apparently the desire to stay connected, whether it was with work or a friend,

Years ago, I was an athlete.  I was one of the top performers on the girls cross country team.  I could run 2.5 miles over rugged terrain in just over 16 minutes.  I don’t know where my coach got her knowledge and insight, but she was very effective if you followed her plan.  30 miles a week, alternating between shorter distances and longer distances, hard days and easy days.  She tried to keep it fun, too, like when the person who estimated their time the closest got first pick of the Saturday morning donuts.  Without my coach’s workouts, I could not have been an effective runner.  Her regimen built up my muscles and endurance to where I was at my peak.  Of course, I had to follow the prescribed workout to be successful.  As a people pleaser with a competitive streak, I gave my all at every workout.  Some of my teammates were not as dedicated.  During what was supposed to be a long run, some people ran to McDonald’s and ordered french fries and waited to come back at the right t

It has to be one of the most frightening experiences a parent has to undergo with a child.  If you’ve never had a child with night terrors, you’re fortunate. My son started having these episodes at about three years old.  At first, we thought he was just afraid of the dark.  Then he started screaming.  I’d go in to find out what was wrong, and he would be sitting up in bed, screaming and crying, his eyes wide open.  I would talk to him, and he would act as if he didn’t know I was there.  It was very scary. Fortunately for us, we had a close family friend whose son went through the same thing, and we were at their house when he had the night terrors.  So when our son started this bizarre behavior, we had an idea what it was. It doesn’t happen very often, but usually when he’s had a long day or is particularly over tired.  First grade has been tough for him.  He’s fallen asleep on the bus twice in the past two weeks.  Tonight, I heard a demanding “Mommy!” followed by “that’s why

A huge oak tree dominates the back walk way into my workplace.  It is so large and broad it makes for a relatively dry walk from the parking lot to the doorway.  This time of the year, the oak tree sheds it’s seeds, acorns almost as big as golf balls.  It’s like walking through an upside down minefield, dodging missiles raining from the sky at random intervals.  I used to think there were vengeful squirrels hiding up in the tree, taking aim at us invaders into their playground.  They were really good at hiding, too. After the preponderance of the evidence suggested that no animals were responsible and the acorns fell on their own, I somehow felt safer.  If I were to get hit on the head with a falling acorn, it would be a random chance, not the result of the evil plot of a herd of tuft-tailed rodents. Sometimes acorns are going to fall on your head.  Acorns fall all the time, and if you walk under the tree, chances are you’ll get hit.  You can blame the squirrels if you want to,