Changing Course

I've been in a funk. I've felt helpless to change some situations in my life. When depression attacks, it is insidious. First you feel out of control. Then you feel that since you can't change your situation, there's nothing to look forward to. You begin to feel you really don't matter, and that nothing else does either. You stop caring about the people and activities around you. You long to curl up into a ball forever.

Today, something snapped me out. There was a voice inside my head that asked me if I really wanted the people who are making my life miserable to win. Would I want them to know how much power they are wielding over me? They don't own me. I'm not trapped. Who says I can't make my own choices, choose my own destiny? There's a way. I just have to stop feeling sorry for myself and take action.

Besides that, what on earth do I have to feel sorry for? I live in a fantastic country. I have friends and family who genuinely care about me. I have a loving husband and amazing children. I have my health, and a decent income. I have my intellect, my wit, and my creativity. I have a Creator who has paid the ultimate price to be an intimate part of my life.

I am not my problems. I am bigger and better than them, and I'm not a quitter. Even if I do mess up, it's an opportunity to learn and grow. I don't have to have a perfect life to enjoy it.

Of course, there are other remedies that have helped with my new attitude. Extra sleep, physical activity, and oh, yeah, the chocolate have all had a part. I know that it's going to take a lot more for me to actually change the path that my ship is sailing. I just know I can't reach my destination if I jump ship.

There's also nothing better to have on board than some chili-flavored chocolate. Yum!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Discovering Happiness

What makes you happy? Since I have a Bachelor’s in psychology, I could tell you that nothing can make you feel a certain way.  You choose to perceive the circumstances around you and interpret those thoughts into feelings.  What fun is that? Julie Andrews sang about “My Favorite Things” in the movie, “Sound of Music”: Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens Brown paper packages tied up with strings… Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings… Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes Silver white winters that melt into springs These are a few of my favorite things I’m not quite as poetic, but here a few of my favorite things: May sunshine, warming my face and arms Rich dark chocolate,
Read more

A Beautiful Life

Image
Elizabeth Taylor is still stealing headlines weeks after her death. Who was Liz Taylor? Why was she called “Liz” when she didn’t even like the nickname? How could someone who was so adored by the public seem to be constantly seeking love? I’m too young to appreciate who Elizabeth Taylor was in her glory days. I can look at her pictures, at that fabulous hair, itty bitty waist, gorgeous skin, and dark eyes (some people say her eyes were violet). She was an accomplished actress and Oscar winner, well known for her roles such as Cleopatra . She was actually a British citizen, born in London, ballet dancing virtually from birth. Her father was an art dealer, her mother, a stage actress. Practically after setting foot on American soil at the age of ten, she was in the movies. Less than a decade later, she was pursuing what some considered her second career: marriage. Seven husbands, eight marriages , spanning over 40 years. How could someone so loved by the public struggle to find love
Read more

The Pink Slip

I haven't blogged for awhile.  At some point I decided that writing daily was never going to get me to the writing career I longed for.  However, since I am recently unemployed (technically self-employed with a tiny paycheck), I thought maybe sharing my experiences in that category might be helpful to others. I've always felt the most for those who have been laid off because there wasn't enough work, or there were budget cuts, or the position was eliminated.  No one feels sorry for the person who was fired. That's me.  Fired, canned, terminated, given the pink slip.  I had been joking for years that I looked forward to that day.  It wasn't that great, after all.  Although I don't believe I deserved it, no one wants to hear that.  It doesn't matter that Indiana is an at-will employment state, and that my employer did just that- fired me without a good reason.  I didn't complete a project because I was working overtime with what I had always been tol
Read more