A song on the radio has been haunting me. It seems like every day I hear it, sometimes more than once. I’m not sure why, but I wonder if God’s trying to tell me something.
“The Motions” by Matthew West:
This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life
I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"
No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole…
The phrase that captures me the most is, “I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking, ‘What if I had given everything…’” Isn’t that haunting? How would life be different if it was lived with complete abandon and unbridled passion? I don’t mean anarchy or sexual indulgence. I mean lining up your values and dreams and living by them, without being imprisoned by fear… fear of failure, fear of rejection, or fear of being hurt.
Amelia Earhart said, “The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward.”
I’m not sure what kind of change I need to make, but I do feel restless, like I’m, well, “going through the motions.” Is it really as simple as Earhart said, that after making a decision, you just hang on, overcome your fears and enjoy the ride? How do I “let my heart defeat my mind,” as West says, and have an answer for all the reasons not to act?
I am tired of the “nothingness of life.” I want my life to be something, a unique contribution, a legacy. I want to feel like I did when I ran cross country, like I gave everything I had every step of the way.
It’s not easy. The powers that be want us to perform and conform and go along to get along. That’s why E.E. Cummings said, “To be nobody but yourself in a world that's doing its best to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting.”
Never stop fighting. “Just okay is not enough.”