Building Fences

I’ve always had a problem with boundaries. It’s not due to some traumatic event in my childhood. Rather, it’s a defective personality (so to speak). I am a people pleaser. And a perfectionist. So I not only want to make people happy, I want to make everyone happy, all the time.

I’ve grown up and I’ve realized that one person can’t possibly please everyone she meets. I’ve also decided it’s okay to say “no” to a lot of good things: projects, organizations, and ideas, when I don’t have the interest, time, or ability to see them through.

Now I’m in a situation where I’m really struggling to create or maintain boundaries as needed- mostly with myself! I work from home. I also manage the home. So, while I’m trying to work on a grant proposal or write a blog, that growing pile of laundry is nagging me. My daughter comes home from school and wants to talk. My husband can’t find his keys. My sister needs help with her kids.

While I am so glad to have a more flexible schedule so that I can better meet the needs of my family, I’m not sure how to protect my time so that I can get all my work done. Part of the problem is that my work is the kind that can easily take over. I enjoy it so much I could do it 10 to 12 hours a day if I didn’t have any other responsibilities.

I know that only I can make this work. I plan to start by designating a work space. Working in the bedroom or living room seems to be counter-productive. I have an office, but it’s also been a play room and storage area in the past. Boundaries. My next step will be designating work hours. They don’t have to be 9 to 5, and they don’t have to be rigid, but I need to make sure they’re there and that I communicate them to my family.

So, I suppose I should move to the office to write this blog. Did I mention I’m a procrastinator?


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