Today I am wishing for Frankenstein-like ability to mess with my mind. I am so tired! It doesn’t seem to matter how much sleep I get, I still feel fatigued.
For me, tiredness usually leads to laziness. I am completely uninspired to do anything about the laundry, or my personal projects, or even brush my teeth.
A social worker told me last week that inspire is the opposite of despair. If you’re into etymology, you would beg to differ, since, “spire” comes from a word that means “to breathe,” and “spair” comes from a word meaning “to hope.” I would venture to say that it is difficult to be inspired if you are without hope.
So do I need a “breath of fresh air” or do I need a spirit of hope? Or do I just need a nice long nap?
I wish I could find a way to electrically stimulate the part of my brain that is creative, confident, motivated, energetic, and joyful, and keep it that way all the time. I would be so accomplished, and happy to get out of bed in the morning! I’d probably be a lot more fun to be around, too.
I have a sneaking suspicion, however, that my mood and outlook are not entirely beyond my control. We’ve all done things when we felt too tired or too sick or too apathetic… and managed anyway, usually because someone needed us. While I don’t advocate running on empty, I think we tend to underestimate our abilities to do what needs to be done, and how much better it feels to push ourselves a bit rather than indulge the lazy side.
I also believe that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. When I feel overwhelmed, that means that a) I need to do it anyway since it’s my responsibility, (b) I need to ask for help and not be so independent, or (c ) I need to ask God to give me the strength and resources to do the job that’s been given. As always, the answer is most likely, (d) all of the above.